Joining An Invitation Intended For Someone Else
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Channel: Yaser Birjas
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Under the law of the land I mean some a lot of Southern bar kind of you know berario soccer sentiment a statement
if you're invited to
let's say for food, someone invited to go and eat for food dinner, lunch, whatever, that as you go someone you met somebody in the method for example, and he asked you so where are you going? So well I'm going to
Xyz shuttle I'm going to go there so what's going on there nothing was getting together so I'm gonna come in with you
says I don't know what do you got to do in this case
but but you're not you're not the person you're not the host
but how would you know that one of the one of the hosts has the food prepared exactly for five people
yeah but when you take him on with it today I
was like what would you do?
What would you do in this case?
So you call the host right? But the time of the profits or loss of didn't have telephones right.
So what are you going to do if you didn't have a phone number?
Yeah, so let's say you're at home someone came visiting you and we have dinner at five o'clock or six o'clock and the person who just came visit and he came on door Mashallah, I spent three four hours and now I cannot feel shy to tell him that I need to go so then he said well, you know what, I really have an appointment at five with my brother for asthma. Really? Good inshallah.
So, in this case, what should we do? That's the answer on this headache, Mama, no. Mo low data cookie cutter with Avatar, the book on etiquette of eating. Bubble, my poo manduria de la time and Fatah hawayo. What should one say to the host of an uninvited person is a complaint or complaint with the invited person? Carla and habemus Rudy bedri radi Allahu anhu con la Rajan an ABS Allahu alayhi wa sallam and environment Sunnah hula Cami Samson.
A man prepared some food especially for the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and invited him along with four others, meaning how many people are there? Fine, right. So
he said then but a man a company. He was there he said, you know, with the profits of ourselves, no good. I'm with you guys go with the profits.
For Lana Bella Alba, when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam having arrived at the door, Carla and Avi sola seven in the area, this person has just followed us financial data when she adonijah. So basically, you may allow him if you like, and if you like he will return Allah. Allahu Allah said the
argument of permission.
He said, I will give him the permission. So that means you need to seek permission. Do you have to take the person all the way home? Before they seek the permission? Will Can you call clinical by for example, right? Someone humbler? We have phones, right that says let me just I have to call him first. Because I'm not sure if he really invited or not. He might say But no, no, no, no. Fine. I'm not gonna go to listen. I'll call him if he's okay with that. You can come with us Alamosa. So in this case, you call the person and said, nevermind.
If it says well, ah, you know what, honestly, I'm trying to keep it private. So if you don't mind is that in this case? I told him, but he said no. So if you if you are rejected, if you are rejected, how should you act to this?
Put it on Facebook.
Messenger. If the person the third, the third person in this case was rejected, you call seeking permission for him? And the host said, I'm sorry, I can't have anybody else. So that person was rejected. If you were rejected you and the person will reject what would you do in this case?
What should you get upset?
Should you cut off that person? Should you go make another party and not invite that guy?
You should not act like that by any means should not retaliate by enemies. Allah Allah subhanaw taala says, actually, as a matter of fact, you should be happy with life. You should be happy and pleased. You know why? Because Allah subhanho wa Taala says, Well, I did a local furniture who asked
that if you've ever told to return which means that you are rejected, you're told to return furniture. Go ahead and return who has Calico that's better for you, which means it's more purifying.
Handle, I was rejected fun.
Today if someone says no to you a long time, we all perhaps had these incidents when someone called you
So, we would like to come to have a cup of tea shout out to you guys this evening, which is a lot more than welcome. But honestly could we do tomorrow maybe next week, we shall have some mission. So eventually, these people, they get really upset. So somehow, how dare you, I'm calling you but I'm just you know, I, I freeze my time for you all this kind of things and alarms that no one takes the sooner of our last panel that I've seen of this either, it's baffling, that brings a purification for your heart, if we just accept that, that was handled loveless in a matter of fact, some of us are have already allotted according to the service,
some of the competitors or they're allowed to run home, they used to go knocking on the doors, just to be rejected.
They seem to be rejected. Why? Because they want to get that certification. Now, I'm not gonna say that to do that with people today. And you call them at the wrong time, let's say 12 o'clock,
noon time, midnight and say I want to come and visit so we can accept any visitors right now. But if this happens, you know, just happy that you called somebody that wants to come over and they say I'm very sorry Marina, then just be happy with it. You don't have to get upset. They have their circumstances. They don't have to tell you why is that clear?
And if they say we're sort of allowed I'm sorry, can I contact you again? Except for now? Don't say why
what's the reason you know if there is something fishy about a food Don't worry about
it they don't have to tell you why. But they have something private maybe the man is fighting with his with his wife. Maybe they just you know want to have a trip maybe they have some other people coming home so eventually there are many other reasons people don't have to disclose for you. So if you just forget projected be happy with that and shout louder and if you ever invite someone and someone else comes with them when you have room for
more than one come, but there's no obligation on you to accept that extra person to come. Well Ah, any question
morning
Can you basically decide the time to be after certain mode of like this?
You're talking about let's say that if the host wants you to come at seven o'clock or maybe he says at eight o'clock? So you told him as a guest says you know what, why don't we make it after Madrid? So changing the invitation time to a more convenient time for you as a guest right? Can we do that? The answer is yes. If the host said it's okay then it's okay. But if it's too much for them maybe they have children that they need to go to bed early. So you also need to be considered you would like to press Gemma and the message so in this case you'd like to make it more clear to you if they accept and you can get together to any common time or agree in time then it should be fun inshallah
Allah Any questions? Yes.
house
if the house is nearby close to the muscle. And you guys are now after eating your degree of difference for instance, which is better for you to go to press auto Gemma and msgid or should you pray you pray together? In the masjid I mean, at home? Well, I depends on how what what is convenient. If you take the LPN and the Serato. Gemma the congregational prayer is mandatory, like in the Hamblin school, for example, then in this case, you're going to have to move to them, because you're very close. But if it's inconvenient that you deal with the need to leave whatever actually, and hospital has been provided, and then take off and go to the masjid and come back again, then if
they purge them out, you can actually be found in Charlottetown, whatever is convenient for the congregation.
Of course, I always prefer Gemma and the message, but again, if it's inconvenient, there is an obligation
to the person who asks, first who was invited to come along?
What's that? What should what is the ruling on that? That person, the third person who basically who throws himself on that invitation? I'm invited to Brother finance house, this guy is gonna come with you. Is that acceptable?
Is that accepted? Such an invitation
for free, right, is that the answer is not actually not part of the Mirage visa cheverie, which is a good match and as long as you don't throw yourself in an invitation like this Unless Unless there is something special
Another invitation, let's say there is a special guest. There is an there is a shift coming over from somewhere else and so forth. There are special access speaker, that event and that gathering and so on. In this case, you would say, You know what? That's an opportunity. Maybe it's a life
a chance, opportunity shift for others come in and say, I'm gonna try and see if I can get through on Maybe, yeah.
Come on them. So if this is the case, that should be yes. But if not, and if there is no, there's no obligation again on on the guest, to bring this person or approve this person. And you don't have to reject him on behalf of the host unless you know that it's limited sleep alone.
There's another
element, which is directing this subject, but cover this area, which is saying, like, I don't
know,
what the meaning
is about. Follow the
invitations. I don't know about the invitation of
any of us.
So don't be Emma, Emma is a person who just copies others. He says this, if people are good, I'll be good. If they act bad, I like bad retaliation. That's the kind of to Emma, but to say that simply because it's following people to decisions
is about the camel will follow through and also they see it for
people who are going to go for
them. I'm not sure about the second one, you know, the meaning of that. The sort of the word origin of the word that it's coming from a person who basically goes after the invitations, even though he was not one of these invited people, I'm not sure I'm not gonna have to look the meaning of the word Charlottetown.
But overall, I would say the promise or some of the Hadith, the if this wasn't an acceptable, you would reject the man altogether. But he gave him you give him the benefit of doubt by allowing him to come for the host to allow him auto reject. So he was actually accepted.
Now, if someone invite,
are we allowed to ask for a reason for that?
If someone invites you for food, are we allowed to ask for the reason for that invitation? There is someone says I want you to come inshallah for dinner. Can you say so? What's going on?
What's going on? Is that is that fundraising or something?
Are we allowed to ask about the reason? I mean, it depends. I cannot say it's from this forum. It depends if you know the person always combined to because fundraising, for example, you might expect it to be another fundraiser or something like that. Or maybe because you will say so is there a special occasion to say no, we're just getting few people getting together under a lot of damage. So that's fine if you if they disclose a reason that you dislike and you don't want to be part of you have the right to reject
a party and invitation a dislike or a gathering that you don't approve. So that's fine shall not be changing the culture back home. People will come without invitation.
Here the culture is you expecting people to call you know, someone just come on knock your door. Don't open for them.
The the culture in some Muslim countries, I mean, at least in the Arab culture, I'm not sure about Pakistan, people they just you know, show up on the door and say, sir, I just want to have a cup of tea with you. So is that okay? I cannot say it's hard. But it's really inconvenient. It's really inconvenient. People the house might not be ready. Remember, they have some privacy issues, maybe they're just not in the mood whatever. So it should not really overburden people. This this kind of attitude or etiquette happened in the past Why? Because people did not have communication
tools
to go by so they didn't have phones they didn't have cell phone they don't have these things to their handler we have all these now. Yeah, facilities. So if you want to come You just need to call text someone says listen guys are okay well, if we just stopped by for for maybe for 10 minutes, just to say hi my wishes for whatever occasion they come in for. So you should actually do that. I would definitely recommend that you take appointment from the people before you come because that is really really convenient for them. However, however, something I just want to point out in regard to hospitality, which we spoke about earlier in previous sessions. Unfortunately, the kind of the kind
of hospitality people offer these days. Sometimes it's more
done what is really required of them, and it becomes too much of a burden that people start burning themselves out, meaning they become now less hospitable. Because of too many experiences. And if you, if you invite people over, you expect they expect you, or at least you expect that they would expect something great, right? So you're going to have to do something. And then when someone else invites you over what you expect them to do, they're gonna need to outdo that invitation. So they start basically competing, who's going to do the best, and then becomes really, really too much of a burden on people. And because of that, you see amputations you just cannot, any spaced out or
stretched out too much. And these many simple countries, like you're talking about people that will be praying together at the masjid. And then as they walk out, and as I said, let's have a cup of tea.
Because the hospitality is expected to be standard, shine. And that's it, we're done. But you don't expect to have all these kind of things, unless there's a special occasion for a big invitation. So if you ever if you ever really invite people make it clear, listen, it's very simple, it's just going to be a cup of tea. That's it, I got to do nothing more than that. So that they feel comfortable that they're not burdening the family, or the host. And trust me, the wife will have will be happy would appreciate that. Because she knows it's not going to be any big issue. So eventually, if they do that, try make it as simple as possible. Allah.
If someone invites you, if someone invites you, before you accept, you tell them that you eat, for example, if you want.
This is this is usually happens in Muslim countries. And that question, that scenario is assumed if you are if you are invited to a food in a Muslim house and a Muslim country, Mr. Navarro, but a non Muslim environment? What is the standard?
Is it
live depends. It was a DC house, most likely.
It was an out of house maybe.
So the standard is different.
I'm being very blunt with you guys. Because that's what reality is. Most of most of most of the basic families, and somehow so ironic, even sometimes, yeah, need the least least expected in terms of practicing the least practice in person, they will still have to get the beer.
And see. For example, it might be the opposite the most practicing person because they have the football. And they believe that is actually a concern for them. So they will just it's okay with that. If they follow that. But what happened a lot of blood, I mean, that's fine. They can eat, let's say the meat from the market. But you cannot impose that meat on other people simply because you think it's harder for you. So they asked me by the way, is it Halloween, Halloween, Halloween?
And you mean by that?
The marketing?
No, you know they're standing.
Because when they ask you, they ask you based on what day are they intended? So you have to answer them in that fashion. So again, if someone asks you for food or visit the environment for food, and you suspect there might not be any point to that be hungry to send them that in a certain way. Like I said, you know, how about if we make the seafood and show that to be on the safe side that I bought just bring a salad and shop that would be good. So they understand Oh, let's be blunt with them. So there's an interview. So they say don't want to shout it will give a shout out that would be okay. Well Ah, yes.
What if someone invites invites people over the question someone invites people over and they forgot that they invited people
so they ate the food and the guests arrived?
Very clever.
Very clever question. Excellent. What do you do in this case? You invited people and then you forget about the invitation. Suddenly, guests are coming you know, they bring in all the guests with them and the bags and all this stuff. What are you going to do?
Our follow this sooner now z
make it make it basically like
a hospitality as much as you can afford. Or maybe fake it just like I'm saying. So we're going to teach you the sermon on Shabbat today.
Salt and bread that will be sufficient.
I would say I would say you just provide what you have. You would like to order food from outside. That's
You want to take them to a restaurant that's up to you but you just have to make it up for them and and I hope that people will also be forgiving. So we'll lay out for forgot if Allah subhana wa tada accepts it and Allah azza wa jal forgives for a person who forgets as human being more not to not to forgive people want to make mistakes. So that should be okay. Oh, la, la,
la, la, la, la,
la, la La,
La La,
la, la, la la la mina, what I call Tomica law topic. And the idea is,
like, good luck. sabella Don't be friend, in terms of creating a great friendship.
Like the court in English that doesn't friendship, basically, except someone who's
a moment, a true believer, and you can make acquaintances with many people, but a true friend, you have to find someone who can help you in your journey man, what I call Tomica latte and don't feel except for the righteous. Why because the righteous and what they eat, they eat for that purpose of accepting the invitation.
Just you know, allow you to be generous with them. They will just have to socialize with you, they don't really care about it.
But those who are not that righteous, they might really care about whatever food you presented to them. So they might actually create some stress
on the families that have to present something great something unique.
So I guess yeah, it is actually is concerning. Allah subhanaw taala 100