How to deal with homosexual urges

Salam Alaikum peace be unto you the seat is empty is going to be full. When our next guest coming up on the deen show one of the original guests. I'll have my jacket on and preparing right now. And we're going to be reading one of your questions and answering it here on the D show. You better not go anywhere.

We're back on the dish. I told you. We're going to have the special guests, one of my original guests here on the dean show and we started back in 2006 Shaykh yasir. Qadhi, how are you? I said, I want

to be back home doula, you don't look like your agent too bad, you can still look like the original show. I really wish.

I wish everybody else said that. Also, you're not noticing the hair over here. It's kind of diminished over the last five, six years. But 100 Thank you for finding the time. It's always a pleasure. I look forward to the creator that has ever given us life to have you back on the show pleasures mine. Time is short. And we want to get into our first question I noticed is it sensitive topic, but we get a lot of questions from the not yet Muslims. And everyone has the potential to submit to the creator to do His will. And that's how you get paradise. So Steve is right in. But before we go to that you've memorized the verbatim Word of God is this correct? Alhamdulillah I

remember longer studying this beautiful way of life is not? Well, I've been studying Islam informally since I was a teenager since I was 1516 years old. That's

for decades, but professionally and full time. I've been studying Islam for the last

15 years graduate from Medina Raj 10 years and years to Medina.

El, I mean, we can even add computers

just going to finish the PhD from Yale inshallah very soon. So I mean, actually, technically, you can even say 17 years, I've been studying full time, that's been my full time professional studying Islam. So we'd like our brothers in humanity to get the Islamic perspective. To know like, what are these Muslims think, Jeff? Right. So Steve is writing in he's saying, Look, guys, okay, this is I'm paraphrasing the the email, we get a lot of these. Look, if God created man to like woman and woman to like, man, what's the problem if he created some men to like men or women? Or like, what's your guy's problem with that? Why are you guys so you know, against this? Yeah, this is obviously as you

said, it's a very, these days is a very sensitive topic. And it is difficult to speak out against what we consider to be certain immoral actions. because, frankly, if we criticize homosexuality, some people equate this with blatant racism, that criticizing homosexuality is deemed to be pretty much the same these days as criticizing somebody for the color of their skin. And they think that this is something beyond their control, and our perspective and the perspective of pretty much Well, all of the Abrahamic faiths, once upon a time in the last 20 years that's been changing in Christianity and Judaism. But still, many Christian movements and many Jewish movements and

mainstream Muslims. By and large, they still follow these commandments that they believe we're given by their creator, by a law, by God, and of those commandments is that our Lord has told us that sexuality is that this is our position. Sexuality is an innate desire that's legitimate, that is permitted, that is completely allowed to enjoy within the confines of marriage, right? We don't view sex and sexuality as being something inherently negative or evil. There were some Christian theologians such as St. Augustine and others, they actually viewed the sexual urge as being inherently evil, even within marriage. And they said that there should be minimal pleasure even

within marriage, that the only reason you should procreate is for children. But in our religion, we have a very different perspective. We believe that our Lord gave us the internal desire to eat and drink and procreate, right? And every one of these desires can be manifested in a permissible matter, and it can be manifested in an impermissible manner, right. So it's good for us to eat, but our religion tells us certain foods are harmful to us. It's good for us to drink. Our religion tells us that alcohol is harmful to us, we should avoid it. Go ahead and drink natural juices drink so many beautiful things that God has created, even drink concoctions we have made up right as long as

they're not harmful to us. Similarly, when it comes to sex and sexuality, our Lord hasn't

encouraged us our profit ohana system has encouraged us to get married. And he has encouraged us to live, joyful lives. And that means that we were very explicit here. He wanted us to have good, healthy sexual lives within marriage. Our religion is very explicit about this point. The Quran tells us that our Lord has created us from male and female, and he has made for a spouse's from the opposite gender, so that we may live in peace and in harmony, and find love and comfort in them. And so the man finds comfort and love in the woman, and the woman finds comfort and love in her husband, and within the confines of marriage, that is a beautiful that is a that is a part and parcel of

human society. When the family is safe and sound, society is safe and sound, we firmly believe that family is the building block of society, therefore anything that harms the family, it harms society. And that is why our religion tells us that divorce is something that really should be avoided. As much as possible, we want to break families up unless sometimes it happens, they really have to end up with a divorce woman, okay, that's inevitable, but the the basic rule is that couples should be remade, married to each other for really for as long as possible till they die. And family should find peace and happiness within each other. Because when they are happy, society will be happy. So

our religion says extramarital affairs are not allowed, that a husband cannot just go sleeping around with other women. And that's a very major crime in our religion, right? Now. Similarly, our religion also says that finding sexual pleasures within the same gender is something that is an unnatural manifestation of a natural urge, the urge is natural, what is the urge sex, sexuality? That's natural, right? Our religion says limit that sex and sexuality to that which is conducive to yourself and to society at large. And that is marriage. suppose somebody says, but it's not my fault. I don't find pleasure in women. My pleasure. He's a man. He says, My pleasure isn't the same

gender. suppose somebody says that. And he says, God created me this way. Our response to this is, personally, I'm not going to go into the philosophical or the biological question of nature versus nurture. You know, did God create men, a particular man to be gay or not? Frankly, I don't know. But I do know one thing that every one of us has temptations, every one of us has desires. Every one of us has temptations and desires that sometimes are harmful to us. Our religion tells us one of the jobs of our faith is to protect us from those desires and temptations that will harm us. So bottom line, we give an example here. So I'm a man. And I have no qualms admitting in public and on TV,

that as a man, I'm attracted to beautiful women. This is part and parcel of being a man that I think I would be safe in saying that the large percentage of you know, my fellow men would agree with me, that's a beautiful woman is a something that basically does not allow you to concentrate, you know, as you raise our hand today, Yes, we are. This is something that, you know, it's human nature, that, frankly, it is ingrained in us. If somebody were to say, God created us this way. There's an element of truth. Yeah. Okay. Now, does that justify me?

lusting after every single beautiful woman on earth? Does that justify me saying, You know what, I can't help it. I find every single beautiful woman attractive, you know, let me just ignore my wife and the rights of my wife and let me go after this lady and that lady and that lady, would anybody agree to such type of logic? Another person will say, these are called kleptomaniacs. They have the urge to steal, right? Another person will say, look, I have plenty of money. But when I'm just walking in the store, and I can find something to stuff in my pocket, there's just this urge inside of me, I can't help it. I just want to take it and steal. What if he says this to the court of law

and the judge? And the judge said, Well, okay, God created you to be a kleptomaniac. Go ahead. What if a mass murderer says I can't help it? These urges come in me, and I just want to kill people. Now I'm not equating murder with homosexuality. But I'm saying, what if somebody says, this is an urge in me, I can't help it. No, you can't help it. The urge might be beyond your control. But then you can cater to it by blocking it, or by channeling it in a permissible manner. One of these two things has to be done. Okay. So if I have a lust for a woman that's not allowed for me to lust after a while, then I have to control that urge and have to find happiness within the confines of marriage.

And that's what our religion tells us to do. Similarly, if a man lust after another man, he has one of two options, either he and I and there are people and I have met many Muslims that like this so nobody can tell me this is not true because I have met people like this. Either. He does try to minimize this urge and find happiness in women and this is possible and it has happened already.

If he really finds it impossible, well, then the only alternative for him is to live a celibate life. Nobody's forcing a woman on him. Nobody's forcing him to get married. It's not it's not illegal to in our religion. But if he finds that his urge is something that our religion considers to be unnatural, then there's nothing for him to do other than to battle that urge. Just like I have to battle urges for women that are not allowed for me. Just like the kleptomaniac has to battle urges for just like the alcoholic, when he passes by some alcohol. And his doctors have told the word visa Muslim, his faith has no renewed. He remembers how beautiful that wine was, he remembers

how sweet that taste was right? Just like a drug addict. Just because he has the urge, it does not justify manifesting that urge. Now having said that, it's a very important point to make here.

Being a homosexual does not disqualify you from being a Muslim. I mean, very explicit here. Just like drinking does not disqualify you from being a Muslim. Just like taking drugs, you can be a Muslim and take drugs. You can be a Muslim and be a homosexual. But we will tell this person what you're doing is immoral according to the teachings of our faith

and Christianity and Judaism and well that is mainstream interpretations. You know that even within Christianity a lot of a lot of differences are happening but yes, made many conservative Christians, Orthodox Jews Yes, they also feel the exact same way all right there we have to go to break and we right back to church in you. Okay, here we go. So cardi on the deen show, the simple to understand. Islam means submission, look at the word submission, not to yourself, not to your desires, not to anyone or anything. Because at the end of the day, you get something you always want more, you get some weed, you want more, you get some drugs, you want harder drugs, you get a girl, you want a

nicer girl, you get a car, you want a nicer car, you get a house with a nicer house, so many pressures.

By enslaving yourself worshipping God loving God with submission to the one who created you. And by worshiping God and seeking His pleasure, you get pleased. And you enter

Congress.

Back here on the Dean's shore answering a question on this sensitive topic homosexuality. It was called Sodom ism. Is this right? Well, the that's the term that is mentioned in the Bible in the Bible. Yeah, it says sodomy. Yeah, that's isn't it these days, of course, it's called homosexuality or coming out or being gay. Now we know we have love for all mankind. So now someone comes to you. And they have this urge. You mentioned something earlier before the break that you've had these situations.

Give us a painted picture. Now someone comes to you says, You know, I put the arm I mean, how does it work? The guy comes up to you or, you know, and he's like, or is a woman to email? Is it? Is it one on one? And what advice Did you give what happened? Well, we have I've had many different people come up to me, some have been via email, anonymous email accounts are too embarrassed to actually have someone live. I've had one person come up to me live and basically put pull me aside and you know,

so this person told me quite frankly, that they're struggling with it, they've never actually done it. And that's why they weren't that embarrassed to come and tell me that they're struggling with it. Right? That this is a problem that as long as they can remember, they've always been attracted to the same gender, the demand and equals I've always been attracted to men, and I just don't find any attraction in women, you know, and I don't know what to do when my parents were looking for a wife for me, What is there to be done? So in this particular case,

the brother was not averse to women. But he found more attraction with men. And so this brother, I mean, I guess in our vernacular would be maybe bisexual. And that sounds like he, you know, I have I have corresponded with some people who said that the thought of being with a woman wants to make me you know, make me puke. I just, I can't imagine that, right? That being with a woman in that matter, that I just cannot imagine I feel nauseous. It's just disgusting for me. Right? And so somebody like that, perhaps we cannot advise him to find comfort in marriage, right? If that's the case, but the brother that came to me, it was like, I just don't find the same feelings and emotions. And I don't

know whether I should do with this or not. So in our religion, we have a beautiful way of communicating with our Lord. And that is called salata is the harder it is, the harder basically means you say a special prayer. And if something is meant to be and it's meant for your good, you're going to see something, you're going to feel an intuition or something's going to happen where you will see that's what's best for you. Right? So I told this brother that praise the Hata that you know, put your heart and soul in you know, this fiance that your your parents are looking for you they had they had somebody in mind and you knew her. So you know, think about it praise to her, see

if it's gonna work for you or not. And in this particular case, I know that they got married and and have dinner together right now. So I don't know

He's still battling with those urges, by the way, but they are together, the couple is still happily married. So what I'm assuming is that even if that urge is still there, he's learned to control it, or he's learned to minimize it. Do you think this helps now that Everywhere you look, sex is promoted? I mean, nudity, pornography, everything is out there. I mean, do you think this? Well, I have a theory, but I'm not an expert. I'm not a psychiatrist. I have a theory that the level of promiscuity, the the level of nudity, the pornography that is so rampant in our society, I feel that one of the many evil symptoms that has caused one of the many evil After Effects, if you like, is

that it has desensitized man to what generally he should not be desensitized to. And I strongly feel this is one of the reasons why

in this culture, particularly that we're living in, in this era that we're living in, we see this trend on the rise, that the natural is no longer sexy and exotic. And so we find and that's why perhaps also certain fetishes, which would be very disgusting, or very, against the human nature, rights are also on the rise. And that's probably one of the main explanations as well. Also the openness of sexuality, like, even one gender issue, even, you know, 50 years ago, look at this, this own, you know, the country that we're in now. I mean, I'll never you know, I'll never forget, I saw I've seen in that famous comedy. I Love Lucy, you all know, I Love Lucy that, you know, one of the

classic comedies of the 40s and 50s. Right. And Lucy was married to Ricardo, they were literally married, you know, the, the the couple that appeared on it, right? But they never showed them in bed together. No, they actually had two separate beds in her bedroom. Yeah. Right. That they deemed it to be to, to immoral, right, to to risk to to just just to indecent to show a husband and wife fully clothed, in bed lying down together. Now, can you imagine that people who saw that show live are still alive right now.

People who are sitting in that audience, right? Or who watched the show on TV when it was aired, you know, on American primetime, some of them are still alive right now, as we speak. Look at how radically

this very country that we're in now, our country, because this is our country has changed. And that's going to have some reaction that's going to have some effects. And in my humble opinion, one of those effects is that it has led to a rise in promiscuity even have a natural premarital extra marital, and also things that our religion would deem to be unnatural. What do you have to say about this, we know that Islam is based on evidence and proof is not something that you jump in on blind faith. Any person who sincerely look at and see like this is from the crater. It's not an organized religion by men or men. So now we see that when you look into Islam, if you look at it in a holistic

use, that everything that God Almighty, the creator tells you to stay away from, it's the best self defense system, don't go near fornication, don't go near adultery, don't go alcohol, not even sitting at a place where there's alcohol, right? If you look at know gambling, all these things that are just destructive to the human beings in society, I mean, if you look at us now, as human beings as Muslims, it's even a sin, isn't it? You know, looking at a man isn't his thigh, even his thigh? Yeah, so in our religion, yeah, we're not even supposed to look at the nudity of another man. That's what I'm saying. Like you go into a locker room, some of the managers butt naked, we don't even want

to look at him, when we're told to lower our gaze, we're

not even looking at someone naked, all these preventive steps that you know, can hopefully got your connection with the Creator, and help you fight these tendencies off. Yes, that's it. So one of the things that I would advise all of my Muslim brothers and sisters to do, in fact, everybody out there is to have a connection with Allah with the Lord with the Creator. Because really, the main way you can battle these internal temptations is to have a stronger urge than those eternal internal temptations. And if your urge to please your Lord, if your urge to establish a connection with the Creator is stronger than your urge to satisfy your baser instincts, then you shall be able to

overcome these instincts and urges that will lead to things that are going to cause you harm in this world and in the next one. So let's give them something tangible, something that they can start doing now. If you're not praying for as basic things of this so connecting with God on a Muslim, I'll tell you something you can do Muslim and non Muslim. Raise your hands up to the one who created just like that, just raise your hands up and say, Don't even say a name because if you don't know his name, say oh, you who created me, just a plea to your Creator, or you who created me, guide me to the straight path.

guide me to the path of those whom you love. And take me away from the path of those who have gone astray, and those upon whom your wrath has descended. Take me away from that, show me the path that will lead me to you. That's a generic prayer, a prayer that every human being should make on a regular basis. We make it every day in our Salah, and our prayer, because that's the part I just translated the last three lines of sort of two factor, which is the first sutra that every Muslim recites, but I removed the name of Allah. And I said, Okay, call the one who created you, because in the end of the day, it's not the names, that's important. It's the one that you calling. And if you

call your Creator, then you are calling the Creator of the heavens on earth. And this is a generic prayer that every single person of every faith can use, at any instance, in their lives. That Oh, you who created me, guide me to the path that you love. Simple enough, simple. I mean, you can't tell us I mean, if a person is being sincere, be the fornicator the person has jumped in scandalously from Woman to Woman, he's not happy. The person who's on drugs. When you mentioned this, you mentioned this before one of our shows it you might get that momentary pleasure, like the candy but the poison here, you get that example. Yeah. Sweet. It's a poison sweet. And you know what

I don't even have to, I don't have to prove it to you. Every single human being on earth knows that these pleasures are temporary, that you can have as many sexual encounters, but inside you still feel empty, that you can drink and womanizing drugs and steel and 40. You can do whatever you want. But deep down inside, there's an empty shell. You can have all the machonis and the bravado and show off if you or if you're a girl, be as sexy as you want in front of the others. But deep down inside, you don't feel good about yourself. You don't feel good about yourself. Why? Because God didn't create you to act this way to act like a hedonistic selfish animal. God created your higher purpose

and that purpose is to know Him and to worship him. You got to start doing that right now. Start asking, start asking, and we'll be right back. Close it up here on the deen show. It's like, when did you think that you had no purpose?

Are you worth?

The value comes from purpose.

Your purpose in life is to worship the Creator, not worship your desires himself, not worship, social pressure, the celebrity culture, or worship the thing that's much higher and transcendent, above and beyond by worshiping God and seeking His pleasure. You get pleased. So you have double pleasure.

This is my family.

He has always been stubborn. He ended up again and he started having his problems.

Fights one night policemen for me.

Sir, Father, come on, get him on the station. He's locked up.

One fight here another fight there. His physical being was great for his ego, but it left him empty. If someone who Eddie and his youth they would predict that he'd be dead.

The outside people looking in so they This is the man. Everybody knew it. At any given moment. You could have 70 women that are running around the club looking at why

he did things that he he pushed himself to the ethical extremes that he could

I have to get out of this total.

Right now at the end there were there was just a boy. It was a constant struggle. It was in her soul was broken at that moment. There was an emptiness in his eyes. It was a bigger emptiness that i think i've ever really seen in his eyes.

I'm running here running there. Mainly I'm running that.

It was Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde. And he was struggling with it. But the effort was there. There was a conscious effort to make that switch. He started talking about his back Look at him. He's trying to be a good guy.

This was the reality. It was done.

was

on assignment spreadsheet anonymous. People didn't know who I was, well, why are we doing this?

You live in a dream, too. People are just stubbornly resistant and started looking at you like you're from outer space.

I have to be out there and trying to convince people to be on the show.

The first episode of that

show aired. I think that's when you saw the full coronation come into

it.

This guy's changed What's going on? Is the machine to see someone change, to see their character changes to see positive changes in their life. It's a sign of God back here on the D show. And we made a whole session episode on the question that the person was asking. And you were explaining now that there's one thing that's pleasing to the crater, there's one thing following our lesson desires. So now, before we went to break, you can never be happy living that life that hedonistic life.

Exactly, you have to have a spiritual connection, the way that I put it is this way, feeding the body is never going to feed the soul. And the body is a temporary abode, the body is a temporary gift, that we're going to have it until we die, and that's it, our body's gone. What will remain forever is the soul. And feeding the soul is what gives you eternal life. And how do you feed the soul? You feed the soul by connecting it to its source, and that is the creator, you connected to the Creator, the one who blew that spirit into man, you connect that soul? How do you connect us all through remembering him through worshiping Him through rituals and prayer through glorifying and

praising him. And that's why every single person when they have a spiritual moment, and they praise God, or they say, How beautiful is this creation, they feel a connection. You know, you know that that moment, when you see the sunset, on a beautiful day, or you're standing at the beach, and you see the sunrise or on a cloudless night, you see the full moon or you see all of the stars, right? That feeling of all that raw spirituality, that there's got to be a greater purpose, that what am I in comparison to all that is out there? Surely the one who created all of this has a reason for creating it, right? That feeling of spirituality, it's got to be satisfied. And how do you satisfy

it by reconnecting to the Creator, and that's the barter. Now you, you, you, you submit yourself to God, you don't follow your lesson desires, and you slowly you start to live off these things that you thought were good for you but the end they brought destruction, and you will feel the pleasure pleasure. Now instead of the pain, yes, you're gonna feel a real pleasure, because you might take the hit of the dope or the coke and you feel good, but later, some big side effect later, it's going to feel it's going to make you feel disgusted. And you know that now you're going to hook up with with with someone you shouldn't be with, outside of marriage. Either way, it's emotionally painful.

It's physically, and most importantly, it's spiritually devastating. When you do it God's way, the creator's way. You're doing it the right way. And there's a fulfillment there. And there's a spiritual connection. And you feel good about yourself about life about living you feel you feel you're doing something, right. Why? Because you're doing it the way that your Creator told you to do it. So no matter what this person that person out there has done right now is there hope for him? Oh, there's always hope. There's always hope in our faith, there's always hope. There is hope until the minute that you die, there is hope. But there's got to be something on your side, you have to

make an effort. Our Prophet told us that he who takes one step towards God, God takes 10 step towards Him, He who comes walking to God, God comes running towards him. This is something in our tradition that we firmly believe that when we show sincerity to our Creator, when we turn our face to him, and we say, or Oh creator, I am weak, help me, I can't get to you without you helping me get to you. Right. And that's the beauty of our faith, that direct connection, that direct connection, we don't go through the prophet Mohammed of the Prophet Jesus, Jesus, or Mohammed came to teach us about that direct connection, right? That these prophets came and they said, worship the one up

there, I have no good in me, only he is good up there. Write them down here. Nothing that we are. Here. We are all created, we're all created. We none of us is God's walking on this earth. Right? So we turn to the one who created us directly. And we call out to Him in the language that we speak in the manner that we know. And we asked him to guide us to the path that he loves. Before we close just briefly talk to us about this warning real quickly that the prophets came to warn people about the glad tidings and this inevitable reality about the Day of Judgment. Justice. I mean, we don't accept we everyone wanted justice for Trayvon. Remember Trayvon Yeah, man was just it doesn't make

sense that everything in his light look, you know, the Hitler's of the world would get away with the murders, that we're not going to be accountable for our actions like briefly touch upon this. So we firmly believe that every single Prophet came with some basic teachings and messages. Number one is the existence of God. Number two is that there is something called the Day of Judgment.

And the purpose of the Day of Judgment is to record every person's life according to the good and bad that they've done. And number three, is that the message of the prophets to be followed the law, the theology, so number two is the day of judgment and one of the ethics

says that our tradition teaches us that there is a day of judgment. In the Quran God asks us that, do you really think the sinner and the righteous person are going to live a similar life? Do you really think the tyrant and the saint will get the same ending? In fact, in this world, many times the tyrant lives a better life than the saint. In this world, the sinner seems to have more pleasures or money outwardly, inwardly. We know he's suffering. But outwardly, he seems to live the life whereas most of the people who are close to God might live difficult white lives impoverished lives, right? So the Quran tells us that one of the evidences that there is a day of judgment is

that every person will get what they deserve. Because one of the names of our Lord is the one who is just our Lord is the ultimate, one who is just the ultimate being who is just, and it is not possible that somebody who does evil and sin throughout his whole life will not taste the consequences of that in the next and similarly is not possible that the one who does righteousness and good and lives a moral life will not taste the rewards of that. So the glad tidings that all the prophets gave Jesus gave him Mohammed gave him Moses gave the glad tidings is that the righteous shall be the ones who will inherit the kingdom of God, that's paradise. Right. And the iniquitous,

the evil, the vile, the wicked, they will not get that blessing because they didn't deserve it because they didn't show a commitment. They didn't try to earn the blessings of God. So why would you Why should god bless them? Beautiful, beautiful, we have to go the show was over. I'd like to thank you very much for pleasure to be with us and inshallah God willing, we'll see you again and shall shall shall Thank you said I want to leave him some money. And that's it. We answered your question. I hope you got to benefit you see, life revolves around pleasing the creator before we meet the creator so we can live according to our whims and fancies and our desires. And at the end

Judgement Day, all the prophets day warned about Hellfire they gave the good news about paradise and worshipping only the creator the One God who created you created me this whole universe and everything in it not worshipping Jesus, not worshiping a man, a woman, a monkey, the sun, the moon, no worshipping the creator of all that exists. So we'll give you something to do some homework right now. You might have done all the sins, things that just black in your heart and you're sad and you cry and you know you're not happy. Start asking God to guide you. Ask him alone, and him facilitate away. You give us a call one 800 662 Islam we'll see you next time here on the deen show. Be good,

do good.

Peace be unto you.